|
|
Susan's Note: I'll be away for a bit, but thanks for reading! KTBBFH
11/05/09
Sweet Victory
You know, I'd forgotten that I love football. The last month or so has been a never ending series of must win game and everyone freaking out, yelling at unfair refs, FA ticketing policies, who to buy sell, regrets, short tempers, accusations...I actually began to dread match day. "We have who at the weekend?" *flinch*
Was Wednesday unfair? Yes, but I don't want to talk about it. Look, if sports were fair, we wouldn't play them, watch them, much less spend entirely too much of our lives arguing about them. If sports were fair, thousands of idiot sport casters and blog writers would have no jobs because there would be nothing to debate.
"See, that City match?"
"Yup"
"Fair. You think?"
"Yup."
"So...the weather..."
Sure, I love a little tension and drama: because when it's good, and your team comes out on top- oh the ecstasy of victory- that group orgasm that can only be achieved by winning that cup final, league title...oh...yeah... But when you lose...look, I been dumped a couple of times that felt better than Wednesday night, but then again, I've had a longer, more meaningful relationship with John Terry than I ever had with any of those guys. Wednesday night I hated football.
So Sunday rolled around, and I hopped out of bed thinking, "You know, I hope we have a really, really GREAT game of football today." I was relaxed about if for the first time in months and actually looking forward to the match. Some were banging on about "needing the point to secure third," but it was like, yeah, we got Blackburn next week, they have Manchester United, uh, I think we're pretty good on points. Nope. Nothing to play for but the joy of playing football. Dragging on your Chelsea kit, getting online to chat with the girls about the state of Flo-Mo's hair, and enjoying the game.
And to be honest, it wasn't really what I would consider a GREAT game of football. Poor Arsenal was knocking the ball around like a well executed pinball machine. Our players looked tired and like someone had run over their puppy. Or stolen their chance at redemption in the Champions League final. So when Alex banged one in, it took me a moment to go... "Oh...YES!" *dances around living room* *mocks Cesc Fabregas* *giggles* 0-1, yeah, baby, alright! I felt better than I had in weeks...and BANG- goal 2! "Da da da...Nicholas Anelka" *picks up gnome for a victory lap* 0-2 at the half. Feeling of calm decends. Love this game... OG, hee hee....hell, I couldn't even be bothered by them pulling one back through Nick "You lost your trousers, son" Bendtner. That kind of goal used to send shots of fear through my heart. I had no fear. Because I was just enjoying the football for the first time in....forever. 1-4 in the end. Oh...happy...day.
Unfortunately, 1-4 at the Emirates wasn't enough for certain fans. Someone even commented "I'm not sure if I'm even happy about this meaningless victory, even though it was a derby." God that is one of the saddest things I have ever heard. Would I have traded that for a 4-1 last Wednesday over Barca? Well OF COURSE. But to say it was meaningless? For serious?
The day an Arsenal ass-whupping doesn't bring joy to my life is the day I stop watching football. And I don't see that happening any time soon.
29/04/09
Dear Petr Cech….with love, Susan
Dear Petr Cech,
It has not been a good year for you, dearest Petr. Your clean sheets have been few and far between, and the ugly specter of Euro 08 looms large over your every move (and I’m not just talking about that creepy ferris wheel thing they put up in Prague) Ironically, it was your performance in Euro 04 that brought you to the attention of the club in the first place.
They say you are not the keeper you once were, before “The Injury”, and everyone speaks of it in placating terms. “Poor Cech, not the same, but who can blame him?” I feel that a fractured skull is in order for the next w*nker who says this. You can help.
Petr, it’s hard to recognize you some days even though they have helpfully clothed you in day-glo orange. Are you the fearless, faultless keeper who amassed a staggering 42 clean sheets in 61 league appearances the two seasons we took the title? Yes, you are, but you’ve had a long road.
Bolton and Liverpool, 7 goals in 180 minutes, was not your finest hour. We have not won a penalty shootout with you in goal. No one much speaks of you any more as the ‘best in the world’, and those idiots on Facebook get miles of discussion out of ‘what keeper do we want this summer?’ I have Guido ready to take out knee-caps, so do not concern yourself with them, dear Petr.
No, concern yourself with the 6(7?) matches remaining this season, because I know in my heart you will make those dumba**es eat their words and force them out of their homes to discover what life is like away from their computers. Let them stand in goal while the likes of Cristiano Ronaldo step up to take a pen and see how brave they are then.
Because I watched you save that pen last weekend at West Ham and saw that grin- that Petr Cech grin that told me yes, yes there’s that Petr I love! And then Barca…HELLO!?!? We are in with a chance now thanks to some of the most gorgeous saves I have witnessed in my years of football watching (and I’ve seen a lot of Carlo Cudicini ;)
You ARE back, dearest Petr, and though you will make mistakes again, sooner rather than later, you must brush them aside and get ready for your next amazing save. I believe in you Petr Cech, I believe in you and your funny little hat.
With love,
Susan
26/04/09
One goal this week. Pfft...hardly worth getting worked up about!
Never mind, the title race is "over".
I have bigger things on my mind, Chelsea fans, and it is a crisis of Biblical proportions. Okay, so let's say you spent a year in a foreign country, didn't have many friends, felt a little lost and homesick, and a very kind person took you under their wing, befriended you, took you on a wild weekend in Amsterdam, and generally made your life more bearable? Would you invite this person to your home country? Yes! Offer them a place to stay and a lift to the airport? Of course!
So, say you discover at a later date that the time your dear friend is due to leave is EXACTLY THE SAME TIME AS THE FA CUP FINAL?!?!? What do you do? Tell this person to make their own way home? Pawn them off on someone else for the three hour drive to the airport? Run away from home and pretend you never heard of this person before in your life?
So we are faced with an essential question: Is Chelsea more important to me than my friend? Am I allowed to say yes? Would my mother ever forgive me for putting my own selfish desires ahead of a promise to a friend? 'Cause it's the FA CUP FINAL...and...if said friend was not coming to visit I might have even GONE to London- probably never see a match ticket, but I could so hit the pub with some mates! How amazing would that be?!?!
But this is where maturity rears it's ugly head, isn't it? The girl who talks to gnomes and spends excessive amounts of time staring at footballers asses is going to have to suck this one up and say "No, I don't mind missing the final at all. Don't be silly. I can tape it. No, no, absolutely fine."
Question my loyalty if you must, but there are things in life more important that football. If JT and Lamps had swung by my flat with a bottle of wine and a shoulder to cry on, I might feel differently.
19/04/09
Well...sh*t that was some week, sports fans! What more could we have asked of our lads than dramatic finishes, goal scoring from all over the park, and a pile of defeated opponents crushed in our wake?
So let’s have a moment to relax...
Wait, what, Everton on Wednesday? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?
Probably, JT says with a little grin, but what a way to go!
You know, I can handle the tension on the pitch, but what is really getting my goat at the moment are the transfer rumors. For serious.
You see, I am a long time fan of motorsports, the Indy 500 and the American open wheel racing to be specific. Names like Mario Andretti and Rick Mears are my gods of the summer. May in my hometown here in Indiana is the holy month. The FA Cup final often falls the same weekend as the 500, and major loyalty decisions have to be made. JT or Mario? It’s a rough call.
And in motorsports, they have something called “silly season.” This happens toward the middle and end of a season where drivers and teams start to think about the following season, who will be with which team, what car to use, engines, sponsors, etc, which leave the sports writers coming up with all kinds of nonsense. It annoys me.
But I have to tell you what, football fans, those dudes who drive in circles for a living got nothing on you! Silly season? Pfft? Ludicrously insane season!
It’s APRIL and already we have pages upon pages in the papers reporting about players coming and going and managers and contracts and...
To sum up the current rumors surrounding the Blues:
Players leaving: *insert Chelsea Roster here*
Players arriving: *insert PFA membership roster here*
Oh, and wander over to Facebook. Our esteemed group currently has no less than 15 discussions on the subject with over 200 posts (and I was too lazy to go back more then 2 pages) Why do we feel the need to discuss this over and over again?
Personally, I am going la la la la...Everton Wednesday! Let’s go lads. Because quite frankly, I don’t give a sh*t who is on our team under what manager next season. I will worry about that in June (saving something up for the long summer drought)
However, if we do by Gomes to replace Cech? I will hand in my True Blue Card and find another club. I love you Chelsea, but don’t test my patience like that.
09/04/09
Dear Potato: My Most Humble Apology
So, uh...Guus. Yes. Well, first I will grovel at the feet of the Master of Anfield and shower you with admiration and praise for the team you put on the pitch last night, giving me intense moments of joy and pride. That was incredible, Guus. I bow down before you.
And, so, if, in the past, I may have questioned your hiring: "or bringing in a PART TIME manager in Guus Huddink? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MINDS?!" -Susan Feb 09 I can only say, "My bad." And when I questioned your loyalty? "and, quite frankly, I am less than enamored with Gus-Gus. I’ll buy a Malouda shirt the day he cracks a smile. Seriously." -Susan Feb 09 I am putting in my order for a shiny new Flo Mo shirt as I type. Forgive me?
Please stay, Guus. Stay and transform our team into the glorious Chelsea we all desire. The back to back title winners. The Champions League winners. The Liverpool Destroyers. Wa ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!
I love you, Potato.
05/04/09
Poised for greatness?
Once again, we find ourselves poised for greatness...
I'm tired of being tense. Though, I suppose tense waiting for glory is better than tense waiting for relegation :D
Third season running and we can win SO much. All the good ones are still up for grabs. Though the way Liverpool is playing at the moment, having to get through them for the Champions League looks a bit daunting. Not saying we can't, just...And the league...hmmm..."We have to win all our remaining games" Yes...so, the yo-yo form this season, not really going to get us there? FA Cup. Right, THAT one could...maybe...
I just don't enjoy the football this end of the season (well, the winning, I like THAT) but I'm on the edge, every game means too much (1-1 DRAW TO WIGAN- WE'RE DOOMED!!!!!!) Match days make me edgy, drive me to drink. And then we keep losing so much lately (yes, yes, Mr. Blackburn supporter, I know, shut the f*ck up...) that I lose faith and I don't want to watch, but I have to watch and...
Of course, Spring always means the preparation for the dark months of the year: June and July. Where I have to like, uh...go out with friends and stuff on a Saturday. Huh, I know of this social life of which you speak...
And the transfer rumours get going again! Cech leaving! Ballack getting sacked! Terry to Man City (hee hee, that one makes me giggle) Van der Vaardt in! Messi IN! Old manager, new manager, borrowed manager, blue manager...
I miss the fall. I miss the promise of a new season. All to play for, Manager fresh, team fresh, expectations high. One loss doesn't have us dropped out of the Champions League. One injured player isn't 'diastrous'
Poised, on the edge of the couch, for greatness...makes me ill...
30/03/09
Why I am no longer much of a fan of the England National Team
It's sad really. The reason I WATCH football has everything to do with England and their team. I was in England in the summer of '06. And I got caught up in the World Cup fever. It was a matter of national importance if Wayne Rooney's metatarsal was going to be ready, and the City of London stopped at 5 pm one afternoon because England was playing. I found myself in front of a TV, going, what the HELL is going on? As an American, I was aware of this thing called 'football' and knew it's world wide importance, but I'd never seen the fever first hand. So I watched. England v Trinidad and Tobago. To be fair, I was like "Ooh! David Beckham, he's SO CUTE *squee*!" But as I watched, I started to get it. This was important, exciting.
But much like England's fate in '06, my love for England's National Team has ended before it's time. I should be a supporter. JT and Lamps play for England. I love these men and would turn up to see the two of them play checkers. (I bet Lamps would win) Joe Cole, when he's fit, is always on the squad, and Ashley Cole, not my favourite Blue, but heck, he's one of my lads, so COME ON ENGLAND! I even appreciate the skills of Steven Gerrard and it's nice to see him play when I don't have to hate him. Ditto for Wayne Rooney.
I don't any more, and a lot of things have led to the death of my love for the Three Lions. I'd have to say it starts with Frank Lampard. The fact that he gets booed by HIS OWN FANS when he's in an England kit disgusts me. I can't stand Flourent Malouda, but I would NEVER boo him. EVER. That is not how you treat your team. Full Stop. Lamps gets blamed for the fact that he and Gerrard never quite link up properly in England's midfield. This angers me. Frank can play where a manager puts him and his failure has nothing to do with his lack if skills as a footballer. Fine, hate Frank in a Chelsea kit, but when he pulls on the shirt for YOUR national team, you support him. In addition, I made no secret at the time as to my feelings regarding the way Ashley Cole has been treated of late. (http://cfcfacebookblog.sports.officelive.com/playerabuse.aspx) He's a world class left back, and England is lucky to have such a solid performer in that role. The fans are horrific to him, and I wouldn't blame him for pulling a Steven Gerrard and having a sudden "groin strain" international weeks that clears up just in time for Saturday kick off. But he doesn't. England's fan treat him like sh*t and he turns up, every time. And still gets booed.
Secondly, The whole Beckham situation has been deplorable. Never mind how he was treated like a national pariah after the Argentina Affair. The way he was cut from the team after the 2006 World Cup was a disgrace. Beckham, love him or hate him, is a national treasure of English football. A little loyalty in putting him on the bench for a few more matches, even if you thought he wasn't quite up to scratch anymore would have been really nice to see. He stepped down as captain after the World Cup, all but taking the blame for what happened, and that's how he was repaid? For a country that never stops banging on about pride of history, it seems a little hypocritcal.
Finally, which may have more to do with it than anything, would be the fact that in America, to watch England play, you have to pay anywhere from $15 to $25 bucks a match. And, quite frankly, they haven't been worth it. I already spend $100 a month to get football on my TV, I'm not shelling out another $50 this week, no matter how many goals Lamps scores. I can't even (legally) get an audio feed on line. Best I can do is Sky's running commentary. And even sadder, we often get the matches on repeat a day or two later, and even though I have Saturday's match on my DVR, I will more likely watch The Simpsons repeats tonight. To make things worse for England, I get Spain for free. Yep. Every match, friendly or World Cup Qualifier, is live on my TV (and not even one of the premium ones I pay extra for to get my football) So Saturday, I tuned in to see a reasonable match v Turkey and Sergio Ramos took his shirt off. For Free.
I know, I'm not British, and the loss of my adoration will do little to affect the team or it's supporters. I don't understand the national pride that comes along with supporting your national team (though, to be fair, my team has been looking less pathetic of late!) Though I'm not sure how too many Brits can persecute me for saying unkind things about their national team when you all are the worst. If I hear one more time "It's OUR team, and we have the RIGHT to critisise..." Seriously?
But I don't have to care about them, and I don't any more. So come on Casillas, lead out your team, I'll tune in Wednesday, and maybe if I have time, check the England score on line. Try not to get hurt, Lamps. Va Espana!
16/03/09
Does one player change a team?
As I watched the utter ecstasy that befell most Blues fans this past week (myself included) as we watched the Bison storm back onto the pitch and reassert himself as a key, key figure on our squad, I asked myself, does one player change a team?
I know when the horrible news came down that Essien had torn an ACL off on &^%# international duty, my heart sank. Out for months, possibly the whole season? Noooo....not Essien! We need him. His sheer commanding presence, his versatility in any role asked of him, his drive and determination. But as the season heated up and Chelsea were in form, eh, we’ll be alright, lads, one player doesn’t make a team.
And one player was certainly not to be held accountable for the downward spiral of Chelsea’s performances this season. Sure, we all muttered into our pints that “God- if we only had Essien back...” but we knew one player would not make the team better.
Evidence: Robinho. Now there is a sure fire example of one man not making a team. Sure, Robinho has been doing well for City (heaven help Mark Hughes if he didn’t have Robinho), and sure, we would have like to have had him to add to our squad, but it wasn’t to be. And to rub it in smug City faces, not only did Robinho score first time out against us, he then had to watch us kick his little team around with abandon- they didn’t hold the lead for five minutes and we went on to win 1-3. Yep, you’ve got Robinho alright, good luck with that.
But then again...
Evidence: Fernando Torres. To hear Rafa go on (and let’s face it, he’s working to fill the entertainment gap left by Jose) about how much their squad has suffered in the absence of Torres, you’d think Nando was singlehandedly responsible for the fate of Liverpool. To be fair, Torres is an incredible playmaker. He is a goal scoring machine. Wouldn’t mind having a striker like that to fill in our squad. But do I honestly think that Liverpool would be up there above Manchester United, leading the title chase if Torres had stayed healthy? Probably not.
Because one player does not make a team. John Terry is an incredible leader. He is so much of the reason we are so good. Frank Lampard? Yeah, you’ll get him off my squad only by prying him out of my cold, dead hands. Petr Cech, Didier Drogba, Nicolas Anelka...I could go on and on about these essential players.
Essential as a team. There is no one player (or manager) who can make or break Chelsea. It is eleven men who have to work together to create goals, defend the back line, win titles. Having Michael Essien back is unquestionably better than any new signings or Robinho or Torres for that matter. Wouldn’t trade him for Ronaldo. But one player does not make a team, and thank god for that.
08/03/09
All left to play for Lads!
Hands up if you are SO TIRED of the sports casters banging on and on about how many fabulous trophies Manchester United are still up for this season? Oh...wait...that was us two years ago, wasn’t it? Carling Cup in hand, all to play for in the FA Cup, Champions League, and League. Chelsea could win it all!
And we were so sad, depressed, failures for only taking home the FA Cup. Wouldn’t mind if that happened to ManU this year. Couldn’t happen to a nicer, humbler group of blokes, really...they got the league that year, if I recall...how about a fair switch then? We’ll take the league, you have the FA Cup, yes? And, hell, feelin’ generous, that there Milan team can go ahead and have the Champions League. You’re welcome Jose...no, really, it’s nothing...
We’re all talking about how the league and well *cough* the Champions League are really out of our grasp. Most people will seemingly be unsurprised if we go out Tuesday night. No shame in it- Juventus is good; Raneri is a friend of the club. As long as it’s not on penalties, right? Winning the FA Cup is all we can really expect. Would be a relief, really, especially since there was a rattling echo in the empty trophy case last season? The FA Cup is the oldest cup in football. Much prestige. Very noble...yes...
Really. REALLY? That’s good enough for Chelsea? The FA Cup? Sure- I was very vocal in the past, berating those who complained that the “double” in 2007 wasn’t good enough. I thought we were good that season- beating ManU in the FA Cup final was FAB. Loved it. No complaints.
But that is in hindsight. In hindsight, we can’t be complaining about taking home ANY trophy, ‘cause there ain’t a whole lot to go around. Whoo! Trophy! Yes- lift that baby up JT, you beauty- oh YES!
But it’s not time to be hindsighting. It’s still early March. I ain’t heard no fat lady! Yes, the league is a long way up there, a lot of points in Manchester and not so many in London. But it’s not over. Quite a few games left. No, not likely, but not gone!
And the Champions League? We’re a goal up going in to Tuesday. Claudio kinda owes us after that whole Monaco thing. Not looking for a 4-0 drubbing, but if you could tell your lads not to score? Thanks ;)
Come on, Chelsea fans, we have been down, but we are so far from out. Out would be Tottenham. They are out of it. They got nothing. They’re clawing to keep from relegation. The Carling Cup would have been a beautiful blessing upon White Hart Lane. Laugh with me. Chelsea fans...we are so not Tottenham! hee hee hee
Chins up, Lads...all left to play for. Essien back in the squad (anyone else shed a little tear when he came on?) Drogs is on a run, and Nico’s little toe will be better in no time (must have been the stress of all those goals!)
Will we take the treble? Well...even I’m not that optimistic. But close your eyes with me for a moment...yes...I see JT...I see silver....ah....
23/02/09
Anyone notice our team is getting....old?
Yeah, so I’m not in the mood to talk about the current form of the team, and, quite frankly, I am less than enamored with Gus-Gus. I’ll buy a Malouda shirt the day he cracks a smile. Seriously. Did you SEE that sweet goal off an even sweeter pass? No? Come ON, Gus-Gus, I know you’re getting paid boatloads, would it kill you to smile a little?
Nah, what I’m in the mood to discuss is the age of our team. Is it me or at they all hovering a little too close to the 30 mark for your liking? Lamps is 30, Anelka will be in March, and Ballack could put in for his pension at the end of the season. Chelsea Pensioners, indeed.
Sure, these are all top-form players, well, Lamps and Nico anyway, but aren’t we needing to bring up some new, younger, exciting players? We have DiSanto and Stoch growing older by the day on the bench, and the only regular we have under 25 are Mikel and Kalou. (and we know how Ray feels about him!) Why aren’t we working harder to bring along these young talents?
Stoch has barely seen 30 minutes of first team action, but whoa, what a start. I wanted more after that Stoke match. I wanted him starting. I wanted to see some more of those crosses. But no. Next match, same old. Same old, old, and getting older...
We’re looking awful shaky to win much this season. We need to send Michael Ballack out to pasture where he needs to go. He says he wants to end his career at Chelsea. Fab. Buh-bye then! Personally, I think you only get to ‘retire’ from a team if you’ve spent the majority of your career at. JT- he gets to retire from Chelsea. Ballack- you’re pushing it.
It’s a real shame we lost Brendan Rogers. He was doing some really nice things at the youth team. Making it to the Youth FA Cup final was a real accomplishment. Some of those lads were making real progress. But like the first team, a lack of managerial stability is hurting.
So what can we do? I think at the moment, we’re stuck with the pensioners. Don’t get me wrong, I think Drogs and Carvalho have some real fight left in them. But we need to sell off some older players and bring in new blood. We need to lay back, bring in a new manager over the summer who is ready, willing and able to help us develop some younger players. We need to look at other teams younger players and take some chances on some kids. Put 10 million into five could be soons, and quite throwing it away on so many been great for their old team.
We already have an old team. And they’re starting to show their age.
16/02/09
Bring back Mourinho?
Right, so I have the shirt, and I want it...oh GOD do I want it, but....
Would the reality of it be as good as the fantasy? Sure, I spend a little more time than in strictly is sane re-watching the Blue Revolution DVD- don’t we all? Oh, those heady glory days of 04-07...dominating , arrogant statements to the press which made us all grin and think “sure, he’s a d*ck, but he’s ours”, and the silverware, oh...the shiny, shiny silverware...watching JT lift it overhead to the deafening roar of the crowd...brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?
It could be that way again, couldn’t it? Jose is what we’re missing, right? He motivates players, delivers what he promises, brings that little something...(I’m gonna say it)...special, you know?
And let’s face it, when he showed up last time, Chelsea was PRIME to win things. We’d been ever so close the season before. Jose brought in those last few key players to bring it all together and made magic.
This time around...we are not that team any more. Sure, we have some big names, some amazing players, but we just aren’t much of a team these days. They kept saying that Scolari had “lost the dressing room”. I don’t think it had everything to do with Scolari, though. I think the dressing room has lost itself. We still have JT in there giving it his JT best but you just don’t see it on the pitch.
And maybe Jose would be the one to bring it back. Get the players back working together. Being out there for each other. For Chelsea. For us.
But I just don’t know. Is he that Special? Can lightning strike twice?
The nay-sayers will tell you he won’t come anyway, or if he would, it’s going to be a couple of seasons at least. Well, he is in control now. He’s making magic at Inter Milan. We’re falling apart one lousy draw at a time. We need him. Does he need us?
Would he even stay this time, more than a couple of seasons? Quite frankly, I’m over the constantly changing managers. If Jose coming in means another temp, well, I love ya, Jose, but I need something long term. Something John Terry long term. Something “you will have to pry my dead, cold hands off of Stamford Bridge to get me to leave...”
Bring back Mourinho? Well, sure, if he’d come, but then again, offer me something better, and I might take that instead...
10/02/09
Okay this is supposed to be a weekly column, but I'm ANNOYED
So, I had 101 things to do while we wait, but I am annoyed, and I wanted to share that with you.
Okay Chelsea WTF?!!? Seriously. I was no big fan of Big Phil, but are you SERIOUSLY telling me that you've fired him only to be looking at either bringing back Avram Grant, who wasn't good enough last year, or bringing in a PART TIME manager in Guus Huddink? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MINDS?!
Chelsea needs a full time, fully dedicated manager to rebuild our team. That's right, rebuild, and I'm sorry, but it is going to take a serious overhaul of our tactics and attitude to win anything this season or in the next ten years.
You know, all fun and games with Gnorman Gnome aside, I am seriously starting to think that that stupid ten inches of plastic which sits on my tv wearing a little bobble hat actually DOES have more sense than the board and owner of Chelsea. Gnorm may have to set his little sights higher...
I can accept if we play bad, lose matches, win nothing. I can deal. But when our own club is sabotaging ourselves from within...that just breaks my heart.
08/02/09
Things to do while you wait...
Well, now what? I ask myself. Anyone else tired of b*tching about how the board is crap, the manager is crap, the team doesn’t care? Take a troll through the message boards and you’ll find all the solutions you need! My favorite was calling back Shevchenko (even though getting rid of him was our solution last season…when we were...uh…better) Makes my whole “JT shouldn’t be captain any more” argument seem a bit more sensible.
You know what kiddies? I ain’t got any answers. I don’t think Scolari is doing a very good job, and I think the players are waiting around for him to get fired, because that’s Chelsea’s answer to everything these days. But I don’t want him fired because if you look at the top, long term performing clubs, they have stability in the management. Period. All three clubs ahead of us at the moment have all had managers in the job for more than, oh 8 months! Firing won't help, keeping him isn't helping. It’s a Catch 22, and I don’t have the answer to that.
So, in the meantime I would like to suggest some things to do to keep our spirits high while we wait for Scolari’s departure and/or an improvement in form.
1. Bang on incessantly about our history- winning back to back titles and that amazing run of undefeated matches in the league at home. It is all we have at the moment, and as you will discover, there is a reason Liverpool fans do it: it feels good. You can argue current form all day and never come to an agreement, but you can’t take away our history.
2. Make a drinking game out of Scolari’s substitution policy.
*
Belletti comes in: 1 shot.
*
An over-paid, underperforming whiner comes in: 2 shots. (See: Deco, Drogba)
*
Someone has to come in to replace a player who is injured: 1 shot. (if it’s a decent player who’s having a good game: 2 shots, if it’s Malouda, 3)
*
If it's a younger player brought in to make an impact with exactly enough time left to just dishearten the lad: 1 shot
*
If Scolari actually makes a sub at a time relevant to the action of the game who comes in and makes a positive influence, well, check into rehab- you’ve had too many, mate.
3. Start making a habit of watching other teams. I have had the misfortune of watching several Tottenham matches in the past few weeks, and I tell you what, we’re really doing alright. If you really want a lift, try Newcastle. It will never get that bad.
4. Do what I do- when the going get’s tough, the tough get on the treadmill. Seriously, I’ve lost 7 pounds since the start of January. I get some really great workout while screaming at the tv: “You call that pass? CLOSE HIM DOWN! Why the HELL did we give away Cudicini?”
5. My friend Shannon suggests taking up a hobby. She crochets during particularly hairy matches. She says it calms her and keeps her from throwing a brick through the tv. Here are some things you can try: knitting, scrapbooking, home beer brewing, or lighting fires with your Drogba team shirt.
6. Begin to develop many bizarre superstitions in the vain hope that you can help improve the form of the team. Set a carefully planned ritual for match days that can include any of the following: wearing a certain shirt/socks/pants, a pre-match meal, sweets to enjoy during the match, where your lucky gnome needs to sit on match day, how many times you sing “Keep the Blue Flag Flying High.” If this does not work, carefully readjust until the time when Chelsea wins the title again. Make it as complicated as possible. You could need to make it last.
7. Begin talking to whatever creatures live in your garden. I suggest gnomes.
Whatever you do, do NOT become one of those fair weather fans who stop caring about the team, booing at the matches, or finding better things to do on a Saturday. If you love this team like I do, then you’re in it for the long haul. You must watch everything, good (beating Middlesborough 0-5) the bad (losing to Liverpool and Arsenal at home) and the ugly (losing to Burnely at home) Chins up, lads and ladies. It took fifty years, last time! We love our Cheslea…we do…
03/02/09
Can't we all just get along?
As I swore and yelled and hated every thing Scouse on Sunday, I started to wonder- why do we hate the teams we hate? Sure in the heat of the moment, it's quite easy to want everyone in red or who ever supported Liverpool dead and buried, but honestly- what sets us off to hate the teams we hate?
I went to the blog and took a poll. Why do you hate the teams you hate? And what I have discovered is that for the most part, it's personal. Oh it is SO personal. Sometimes it's a match you recall when they did something nasty to the team you adore. A lot of times it's that a**hole in your office that struts around like they're f*cking Ronaldo after a win when they've never even BEEN to Manchester. Other times is a personal confrontation you've had with some jerk after a match. But for everyone, it was personal.
It's funny, because for me, I started out disliking the teams I was "supposed" to dislike. WE HATE Tottenham. Check. Hate them. Dirty cheating Scousers. Fine. Filthy Mancs. Right-o. But to hate because it is expected is a little hollow. What did Tottenham ever do to me? (up until they signed Carlo, I didn't much have a personal issue with them) Liverpool...yes, there's some sh*t there for sure with the Champions League especially. Can work up a dislike for them pretty quick. (and don't even START me on Alonso...ooo!)
But I never really felt hatred that really burns you up until I lived in England last season among some of the most arrogant, rude, idiotic Manchester United fans. Seriously. To begin with, I was having some trouble adjusting to life in the UK. I missed home and hadn't made it to many Chesea matches. I was low. And then one morning, I drive to work and hear that the Special One is gone. I cried. Cut to that weekend: Manchester United v Chelsea. Stupidly, I had agreed to meet with some friends who were Manchester United supporters to watch the match. It was horrific. We lost and I had to sit there through 90 minutes of agony while they gloated and called Frank Lampard fat. Yeah, these were my FRIENDS. From that day forth, I hated, loathed and despised all that was Manchester United. This hatred was fueled all season as I had to teach some arrogant little snots who'd get in my face every time Chelsea lost. The caretaker at my school was even a United supporter and would lord it over me everytime they won. Now, back home in America, I am quite relieved to say I don't have to live amongst these idiots any more. But I still hate. Oh do I hate. Totally...personal...
A lot of the people on the group hate Liverpool the most. Marlon Coley said "because of their supporters. i once saw a liverpool supporter try to start a fight with a chelsea supporter while he was holding his small child..true story." That sort of thing totally makes an impression, doesn't it? I hate Liverpool when we play them for sure, and wouldn't mind a bit if Stevie G got put behind bars for a couple of months, but when they're not in Chelsea's path, I don't much mind them. The Liverpool supporters I know personally (Hi Jill!) are lovely people. But I know if I'd seen something like Marlon had, I'd probably feel differently.
Of course there is always the case of our blog editor, Kris, who tells me he hates Leeds and Tottenham just because. Fair enough. Hate on with your bad self.
I do have to say, that as much as we hate others, you do know we are rather a hated breed ourselves. I have seen our supporters behaving very badly. I can totally see why other clubs want us relegated to the Siberian League. Mostly, I'm sure on their part, it's pure jealousy. I mean, seriously. "WE ARE THE CHELSEA AND WE ARE THE BEST...."
To close, I am reminded of my mother in all of this debate. She, ever level headed, forever reminds me that we should not hate the opposing teams, because "If there wasn't another team to play, we wouldn't have a game!" Bless her.
Still gonna hate ManU until the day I die...dirty nothern f*ckers....
29/01/09
A little compassion and maybe less passion?
Wow, everyone had a right go at me last week :) Whatever will you say about this one?
Everyone in blue was angry at me for daring to suggest that our Captain Marvel was anything less than a fully amazing and perfect team captain at all times. I got a few "she does make some good points" by people who took a moment to have a perspective, but most were "girl is f*cking CRAZY." I love these people. They have passion, and they make football what it is today. They would get "JT IS CAPTAIN" tattoed on them and wouldn't even have to be drunk to make it happen. I love you all.
Personally, I agree. JT is captain, and though I stand by my assessment that our dear Super Frank is a little hard done by playing for the same team as JT, this does not give Frank any rights to seek his fortunes elsewhere. We have you signed for life, Mister, and don't you forget it!
But one of the saddest facts of the game is that players do move on because if you had every player you always had, well, they don't have that much locker space in the dressing room. We can only put 14 guys on the pitch in any match. I know I already wrote my tearful farewell to Carlo Cudicini (http://cfcfacebookblog.sports.officelive.com/cudicini.aspx) but I have a favor to ask of you, and I know it's a big one...
Could we all please forgive Carlo, as a group, for going to Tottenham? Most have been kind about him leaving, knowing it was time for him get a more regular starting spot somewhere, and allow that his time has come. But goodness, no one seems to be able to let it go that he has gone to the Dark Side of London. Even our own, infalliable JT said in his program notes "Everyone here wishes him as much luck as you can wish anyone at Spurs." JT! Come on, this is Carlo, not some two-bit player we only had for a season or two! Not like the "Don't let the door hit you in the a** on your way out, Malouda!" I am fully prepared to deliever here soon...
Yes. We hate Tottenham. It is my favorite chant. I will break into it spontaneously at any time given the slightest provocation. I recall quite fondly one Saturday morning on the tube platform in Paddington, Chelsea fans on the southbound side of the tracks, Tottenham fans on the north. And OH did we glare. hee hee...."WE HATE TOTTENHAM!"
But I do so still love Carlo... How can we not? Fan's player of the year in 2002, and well, hasn't been scoring a load of own goals or kicking any puppies since then as far as I know. No, you don't have to buy a Tottenham kit and start fretting about the Spurs battle against relegation. You don't have to mark the calendar with their match schedule and planning trips to White Hart Lane. You can SO still HATE TOTTENHAM.
But forgive Carlo for going there. It wasn't personal, it was business. He's a footballer. Hating him for moving north is not kind. (talking to YOU John Terry.) And when we play against Tottenham again, please feel free to hate loathe and despise 10 of those idiots in Spurs kit join me in some chanting about Jonathan Woodgate's parentage. But leave Carlo alone. Is is and forever will be our "Carlo! Carlo! Carlo!"
And remember, even Luke Skywalker forgave Darth Vader.
20/01/09
Time for a New Team Captain?
Before you shout "absolutely NOT!" and navigate away, hear me out...
I think it might be time for a change in the dressing room. John Terry has served us well as team captain over the past few years, and no one can question his inspirational leadership which took us to back to back titles, the FA Cup and made us all sit up and say "Now JT, HE'S what Chelsea is all about!" Personally, I own no less than four shirts with his name on the back! I think I actually fell in love with the man after he apologised for missing the pen in the CL final- I'm not talking hero worship, I think I actually fell in love... Mr Chelsea, a legend, nothing less.
But is it me, or has JT been struggling a bit lately? The injuries over the 06-07 and 07-08 seasons left us more likely hoping he's make it through 90 minutes without getting his head kicked in rather than contemplating another goal. Where he used to set himself a target of 10 goals a season, I had the priviledge of seeing his one and only last season v Sunderland. (and it was SO one of the highlights of my travels!) When he was red carded against Tottenham in 06-07, the commentators said "I can't remember John EVER having been red carded, can you?" And now it seems to be more of a regular occurance. At the Everton match, JT didn't even try to argue, he just stood there looking defeated, waiting for the card. His form has been slipping, and with it, some of his ability to lead the team.
Lately, when things have looked rough, who have we been looking to for leadership and to give that 110% that drags our team's sorry butt across the finish line? Frank Lampard. Yes, in light of Saturday's near debacle of losing at home to Stoke, giving full credit to Lampard is an easy call. He ran in and slammed that ball toward the next with such a "WE ARE NOT DONE YET" ferocity that I think he surprised even himself. But it's not just Stoke. I watched him drag us through that Fulham match, scoring both goals, but afterward, in his post match interview, he was asked if he was proud of the goals, he was "We didn't win, so they don't really matter, do they?" Class, pure class. JT is struggling to keep his back line in order, keep out of the book, and do his own job on the pitch. Lampard is in the form of his career, showing real maturity, and ready to lead.
When Jose handed JT the armband over Frank in '04, no one really argued with the choice. JT was ready, Lamps was not. And JT has done an incredible job, no argument. But over the last year, Frank has really matured as a person and a player, and maybe it's time to hand the arm band over for now. Frank is ready for the job, and now that he's committed his career to the club, maybe he deserves the chance to have the arm band for his own, not only on loan when JT is injured or suspended. If any player is going to lead this team to the title this year, it's going to be Frank Lampard.
Chelsea FC FACEBOOK Blog Group
15/01/09
Quit Living in the Past...
Oh, I feel a lot better after last night, don't you? Admit it though, some time around the 44th minute, when we were still down 1-0, you thought, like I did, that this was really it: the beginning of the end? Oh, the media have been banging on about it for weeks. (and the less faithful among us) Calling for the sacking of Scolari, question our players' salaries and level of commitment. A lot of us just felt a little lost, especially those among us who've only ever known the good days. What do you do when you're team is not the best? It's really over, isn't it?
But then Michael Ballack, who, depsite the fact that everyone thinks he needs his bags packed, didn't believe it. He was there. The Southend defense went into a scramble and he chipped it right over the lot of them an into the back of the net. Oh thank god, thank GOD!!!
And then the second half. Oh, those are the boys in blue (yellow) I love...Kalou! Anelka! And to place the cherry every so sweetly on the top of the cake...Frankie Lampard. Oh...oh yes, we still have it, we can still do it, it ain't over yet, lads!!!
Of course, as the media would like to remind us (because you are never, EVER allowed to actually be happy in this world, and please don't FORGET IT - Sky News), we're hardly out of the woods yet. (Could I PLEASE enjoy that Lampard goal a couple dozen more times before you rain on my parade?) Manchester United pulled ahead of us in the table, finally. It was coming- they had those games in hand, like an ace in the hole, just waiting....waiting... In truth- we all thought that being a couple of points behind Liverpool was just a fomality- "Oh, we'll get around to catching them up here, soon." But Manchester United. D*mn It. Them AGAIN. At least (hopefully) we don't have to face them again this season. (Couple of well placed favors from Uncle Harry and Our dear Special One, and we're in the clear) And Joe Cole- hurt again...WHY ME? You ask...
No, we're not out of the woods. Stoke on Saturday is not going to be a walk in the park. We have got to earn it. Fight for every single point. And our best just may not be good enough this season...again...
Here's the thing that I think we forget. We are never going to be that team who took the world by storm in the 04-05 season ever again. (or 05-06 for that matter) That team was something special. But it's gone, and blaming the players we have now for not being what that team was is going to do nothing but frustrate you. So we need to stop living there. Accept the fact that it's gone, and look forward to the future. Embrace the team set before you. Quit complaining that JT is a "shadow" of the player he used to be. Trust me, HE wishes he had that form back more than you do. He's still one of the best, and more importantly, still a legend.
It's funny, over the past couple of seasons I've heard a lot about Chelsea being the now, the future, but the further we go on, the more we seem to be living in the past. "Forget your history, we're making it." Hmm...I'm not sure that's true any more.
I certainly don't count myself above it. I watched the Blue Revolution DVD Monday night and cried for the team we no longer have. But I put the DVD back in the case, and got ready for Southend. Because the past is the past. Reliving it isn't going to solve the present.
But one moment from that DVD really struck me. Arsenal, Spring 2007. The day we lost the title. The team was in tears, the fans despondent. And then Jose walked over to the fans and told them to keep their chins up and love their team. If we are going to relieve any moment of the past, maybe that's the one we should hold on to. Win, lose or draw, you hold your heads up high, Blues.
Get out of the past. Enjoy the football being played this weekend. Support every player on this team. (yes, even Malouda) Because if all you've got is that past, then what have you got to look forward to?
-Susan
|
|